Messages to Survivors

In a Kansas case we reported on today, the abuser was a Mormon church member who allegedly preyed on girls for decades. He accepted a plea deal and pleaded guilty to one count of aggravated indecent liberties with a child, so that prosecutors would dismiss counts of rape and sodomy.

The victim’s mother said during the 2019 sentencing:

“My daughter is hurt … She’s angry at the world. She’s self-harming. She’s in middle school where she’s ridiculed by her peers. She mistrusts family members, who don’t understand why she’s acting out, which leads to further anger and trauma. She can’t quiet the memory of a childhood robbed from her.”

The abuser would be eligible for parole in 25 years, the woman said, but her daughter “will still be serving a sentence he forced on her at age 8.”

We feel this mother summed up what so many sexual abuse survivors have to go through for the rest of their lives.

If you’re an abuse survivor, we want you to know it’s okay to be angry. It’s normal and natural.

You’re not wrong if you choose not to forgive.

You’re not sinning if you choose not to trust.

And nothing that others did to you will ever make you unworthy of love.


Even though LDS leaders have taught that abuse victims can be responsible for their abuse, you are not to blame – not even a little bit, not even at all.

If you, like the victim’s mother described her, ever feel like you “can’t quiet the memory of a childhood robbed from” you, or a future robbed from you, we want you to know that you’re not alone, we see you, we hear you, and we honor you.

May your light never be hidden.

– Jane and Charlie

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Post comment